Sunday, 28 August 2016

When I Saw Her...

The thing is I don’t remember the first time I saw her. But I am sure that it could have been in school, the place I never want to forget. I didn’t knew her name till the first half of the year during the school time, and I know I desperately cannot forget the name. She didn’t use to talk much like the girls I knew, I think that made her different. And I always wondered if she had just one friend. She use to stick like a glue with just this friend of hers and did not talk much to others. Plus Two which is the last of your school life happened too soon. Still I was busy behind someone else that I forgot to notice her. And the person I liked never liked me. My energy, my happiness, my time was spend on something I had no response from (Please readers.. don’t think because I am using “My, I, etc”, I am an egoist person, No I am not). It is just the condition I had to pass through and that was rough. And I realized that I was not in a relationship because the boat just shipped to a single place and never returned back.

The new story began when I went for my Graduation Program. You know, every time you thing about this part of your life you just have Goosebumps. The Memories, sweet enough to take away your stress and to make you feel good. I didn’t like to go for marriage ceremonies but there was a marriage ceremony in which I was bond to go as it was personally called on by a senior of mine in college and my senior wanted me to come. I just had a half heart to go but my best friend who was going to the marriage convinced me to come with him. We went together, and reached the temple 10 mins before the marriage ceremony began. The day was nice and the temple had a huge presence of positive energy in it and I was surrounded by everyone I knew. There were teachers present, friends from college, seniors I knew. I was standing apart watching the ceremony and a few second made me realize she was the girl. My eyes could not stop watching her. She was in blue davini..”Pinne, Chootum nadakunathe enikye ariyanam ena thonilla, Avale matharam..” . Was it the effect of the blue davini and the positive surround, I don’t know, But my heart skipped several beats. Blood Pressure was going high, and I knew something was terribly wrong with me... and that something was LOVE!!! . The marriage was over and I had to leave with some kind of sadness, I don’t know what, it was like I was missing something. Reaching home I was disturbed, I couldn’t concentrate on anything I did, and there were just flashes of images that came in of her and just her. I was frequently criticizing myself of how could I never come to have notice her even when I was with her in the same school and now in the same college. I was literally talking to myself.

From next day onwards I started roaming around her class just to see her once. Most of the times I failed to see her, but majority of times I did and with the help of your buddies things become smooth. They come with you, get caught for you and are there 24X7 for you. She used to go to drink water during the intervals and as my class was on the second floor I was able to see her go with her friend towards the cooler on the ground floor. My reflexes very unbelievable to myself as the very next thing I did was to run down and to stand in a corner to watch her without her even knowing. Whenever I had chance to talk to her I used to talk to her friend more than her because she still talked less. This gave a few minutes to see her. During Onam festival, I remember her wishing me Happy Onam and I did too. Time passed away, during the last semester I made few friends in her class, they supported me well, but told me not to tell her my feelings for her as they were sure she would reject that. I considered their recommendations and decided not to tell her. But I was not ready to quit and they supported me well. The last day of the college arrived and everything went as usual but I think that was the turning point and God just shows you the reason to hold on. Me and my friends played on the college ground a last football match and returned to the varanda of the college, she and her friend came close to me. Her friend wrote on my left hand just best wishes. After writing her friend walked away leaving me and her alone, my heart again skipped several beats and to my anxiety she asked for my hand.  But I intentionally gave her my right hand as nothing was written on it and she just wrote “Miss u.” Now, It was my chance to write, and I took her hand and I wrote “I will miss u, Just Wait!!”. My eyes filled with tears of happiness, I literally cried only when she was out of my site as I didn’t want her to see me cry. I was sure she would think why I wrote like that on her hand.

My Graduation Program was completed. I was happy that I completed my graduation. But after a few days something happened and I was sad, because I regretted for not telling her my feelings. I could not eat properly, did not have a shave, and my appearance was almost like that of a mad person. I was not able to bear this pain anymore. I had no other choice but to let her know my feelings for her but there was no other way to meet her anymore. I went to her best friends’ house and I told her everything. And with the help of her best friend I told her my feelings for her, at first she said it is not going to be right. And that had a sound of rejection. I was in the stage of depression again. After a few week a got a call from her friend and told me she also had the feelings for me as well. There was no boundary for my happiness. And yes, if you really want something, the whole world conspires you to achieve it.

Friday, 5 September 2014


You taught us letters and words
You taught us to communicate,
You gave us Strength to fight adharma ,
Taught us the real meaning of wisdom !!!

You taught us to Create,
You taught us to Innovate,
You taught us to use the compass,
You taught us to use the scale of truth !!!

Your presence made me Happy, But!!
I couldn't tell you how much i loved you,
Neither did i thank you,
Still you didn't complaint,
You felt proud on our victories !!!
But never made us feel over-confident,
Because you knew we had miles and miles to go,
Before we Sleep...!!!

May you live long and Teach generations to come,
So that they could take responsibilities and Solve problems,
So that they could stand and say " Proud to be a Student GURU JI" !!!!


Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Emotions of a Teacher !!!!

When you get out in academics,
Emotions of a Teacher come OUT!!!,
When You get out in Assignments,
Emotions of a Teacher come OUT!!!,

When they hurt you by their words,
Emotions of a Teacher come OUT!!!,
When they hurt you by their Humour,
Emotions of a Teacher come OUT!!!,

But, When you get OUT in Life,
Emotions of a Teacher comes Back!!!,
Because they simply love you!!!....

Monday, 7 July 2014

Thinking Makes You Sick Sometime

My Teacher has told me to Think,
Think in a positive way and find the answers,
Think the right way which is accurate,
Think the right thing at the right time.

But, I couldn't because It made Me Sick,
Thinking was easy but not crazy,
Thinking was cute but not Mad,
Then what is the use of thinking if its not crazy and mad.

Thoughts may come in between but ,
The actual thinking starts when you face HIM,
'HIM' the problem...

Friday, 30 May 2014

Trust "ME" PleaZ!!!!!!

You saw me as a stranger,
A stranger of a lower degree,
But, your eyes looked for me!
Why ??

There was this soft eye,
filled with the layer of deception,
But, your eyes looked for me!

I didn't find Trust in your eyes,
I didn't felt like a stranger!!
But, your eyes still looked for me!

There was a Question,
Question you asked your self,
Why?,Still your eyes looked for me!!!


Thursday, 10 April 2014

Don't Fight With Me!!!

You made me think twice!!! 
Before the shadows of truth came,
Before the thunder of happiness came,
You always fought with Me!!

Even if there was no reason to fight,
You seemed to love fighting with me,
You seemed to laugh at me,
My inner self never tolerated that,
And I reacted back!!! !! 

Your seemed to be Happy, 
But it was really sad and unhappy with me!!
It made me think I lost something,
It made me cry ....!!!

Still you fought with me...
And I know you will countinue,
Until you know how much it hurts me,
But, i questioned my inner self "Why"
"why should you stop fighting with me?"

Without which i am incomplete,
Your fighting with me, makes me realize,
You Have me and I have You!!
In Storm and Sadness ...
Please Fight with ME!!!

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Understand Me!!!

Is It Difficult for you to understand me,
Am i not worthy enough to understand,
Or is it that you don't what me to Understand,
'Me'!!! Is all you always wanted to understand.

What Happened??? i can't remember,
That changed you so much,
That made you difficult to understand me,
Is it all you understood about me.

It was never I, Me!! It was always YOU!!,
Still why can't you Understand me??
Still why you don't  Understand me??
Still YOU can!!

Understand ME!! Understand ME!! 
Understand ME!! Understand ME!!